Cookin' With Leo

By Leocthasme

The Best Recipe for Mom on Mothers Day.

Well now, all you young’uns, what got Moms a’waitin’ around in anticipation, however they’re waitin’, this here is your chance to give her a real pickup, hell no not the truck, better’n that.  A long time ago I found out that pleasin’ MA and MOMS in general always paid off.   Of course my Dear Italian Fairy Godmother loved me dearly and visited me quite often, and always reeked of garlic and wore medals of the Blessed Virgin, to keep the evil spirits away, she said (was sure to keep somethin’ away), and implanted all my Italian Recipes in my head with one big swoosh of her magic wand.  And, my dear Irish Grandmother who knew hundreds of recipes given to her by her ancestor Patrick, and passed them on to me because she knew I was a smart little boy and would know how to interpret them for sweet tooth cure, but bless the dear soul, she couldn’t berl water herself.  And my other Grandma what couldn’t tell you how much of anything went where in any recipe, but could bake a cake or pie from scratch without no measurements at all, or have a meal ready an’ waitin’ no matter when you got home.    All them sweet MOMS passed on to me the goodies that I write about in this column.  An’ now, here’s me an’ yo’ns chance to give somethin’ back to MOM on her special day.

Here is what we need to do.

Get up early, and clean out the pickup, especially the front seat, and a squish or two of that sweet smellin’ phew will help, better yet spray a little of Ol’ Blue’s flea powder around the front seat, he always leaves them little critters behind.  And, of course, if you cleaned the pickup you better get cleaned up too.

Now that you an’ the pickup is clean and smellin’ fresh, go get MA and take her to her favorite church and get there on time for a change.   And even if you don’t like goin’ there yourself do it anyway for MA, you can put up with one o’them pulpit pounders for one day.

Now that she is heavenly blessed, so to speak, and she has gabbed with the preacher a bit, take her off to the big city and to the best joint in town.  One o’ them fancy restaurants, what’s got them monkey suited guys openin’ doors for you.   Now mind you, you better let MA off at the front door and not let them Valet Parkin’ Boys run off with the pickup, best you park it yourself cause them kids can play hell with clutches and gears.

When you get MA inside make sure you got some bucks in your pocket ‘cause not all them waiters in tuxedos will even give you a chair if you don’t give ‘em a buck or two.  And, make sure, with another buck or two, that MA is seated right where she wants to be in a nice comfortable chair at a nice candlelit table.  An’, if you passed a few more bucks around there will be flowers on the table too.

Moreover, since this is Mothers Day, you tell her you ain’t cookin’ a gol dern thing today, an’ your gonna’ get her everything she likes.

Ya’ll take good care of MA now, Ya’heah!