LC Van Savage
Seven Deadlies And Seven Cures
Letís talk about sin, OK? Itís not
such a bad thing for some, itís not such a
good thing for others. And, they say (you
know, the ďtheyĒ somewhere in the sky) they
say there are only seven sins, and the
adjective they put before the word ďsinsĒ is
I didnít know one could actually die from
those sins. Well, maybe the gluttony one.
But when you come right down to it, is there
any other kind of lifeís ending other than
ďdeadlyĒ? None that Iíve ever heard of.
Anyway, I guess it means if one partakes of
these seven sins, one will suffer an
untimely deadly, a too-early deadly or worst
of all a lingering, nasty deadly. Bad
But this is confusing to me. Weíre all
going to die anyway, so how are we to know
if we died because of giving in to those
seven sin things, or if it just sort of
happened, you know, naturally. Oh well. Life
is all about mystery.
As most of us know, the seven
deadlies are --letís see if I can remember
them without having to look them up -- OK,
sloth, gluttony,Öwell thatís about the only
two I can remember. I canít remember the
others but those two are my favorites,
perhaps because Iím really very good at
them. Iíll go look up the other five. Oh, I
remember another one; GREED. I can pretty
well work that one into my daily life, but I
struggle to not let people catch me at it.
Now then, the rest of the deadlies:
PRIDE: Thatís the excessive belief in oneís
own abilities. Frankly Iíd always thought
that was being self-confident, making things
happen when all the world says,
ďFuggedabowdit. You canít possibly do that!Ē
and then you do it.
Next comes ENVY: Thatís the desire for
other peopleís stuff. Thereís something
wrong with that? Itís a sin to feel envy?
Thatís like saying feeling jealousy is a
sin. I mean how does one control those
natural, normal feelings? I donít see any
sin stuff there. Itís all in how you deal
with it. Itís not so sinful to envy a
neighborís spankiní new Mercedes sports car
for example, but it is definitely sinful if
you sneak over at night and in a fit of
serious envy, you key it.
Next? GLUTTONY; thatís not cool,
overstuffing, but easy to do, right? It
means one crams down far more than is
needed. I agree, although milk chocolate is
Then comes LUST; if you donít know about
lust, then you are either under 7 or over
107. In a nutshell, itís craving bodily
activities, usually with other peopleís
bodies. Next we have GREED, or avarice. It
means we want too much. Thatís a tough one
too. Iíll wager that even cave folk wanted
more yak and bison entrails than they
already had. So maybe we should forgive
ourselves for the occasional stab of greed
that comes over us every now and again.
Then thereís ANGER. Wrath. Hard to
define. Anger can be a real indulgence and
probably should be lumped in with pride or
gluttony or even lust when you think about
it. Itís something that people occasionally
practice because theyíd prefer to be pissed
than to be loving. Yeah, thereís a lot more
to the anger thing, but like it or not, itís
nonetheless a sin.
Lastly thereís SLOTH; pretty
obvious, and my all-time favorite. After
gluttony, of course. Basically it means the
avoidance of work. Thatís a sin?? Youíre
kidding. Say it ainít so. Iíd always thought
cleverly avoiding work was a sort of gift.
But donít worry. If youíre doomed
to the deadlies, help is out there. There
are actually seven heavenly virtues so if
you work on them, you might be able to
cancel out any of the seven deadlies in
which youíve indulged. The virtues are
HUMILITY, KINDNESS, ABSTINENCE, CHASTITY,
(theyíre kidding) PATIENCE (I lose)
LIBERALITY (isnít that a political party?)
and DILIGENCE (too hard.)
`Humility cancels out pride, right?
And kindness takes the air out of envyís
tires or so they say, although personally
Iíve known a lot of very kind envious
people. Abstinence ruins a really great
gluttonous Sunday afternoon barbeque.
Chastity really drains absolutely all the
fun out of lust, patience all but wrecks the
joy of throwing a good, healthy angry temper
tantrum, liberality they say, erases greed
but that one I just donít get at all, and
lastly, diligence truly destroys a lovely
lazy weekend of doing a lot of slothful
Iím not so sure which of those two
competing seven-fold groups of indulgences I
lean toward because frankly many of them
make a great deal of sense on both sides of
the moral dividing line. I guess Iíll just
ignore the lot of them.
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