Rant of the Day: Defective Products on Pencil Stubs Online

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Rant of the Day: Defective Products

By Yopo

I`ve been busy as a badger today, scurrying around Home Depot, Menards, Ace Hardware, etc etc looking for the makings of an oversize picture frame. (I was much astonished to discover that pre-made frames of the Hobby Lobby variety don`t come so big as I need, and that the cheapest framer quoted me a price of $280, that "bargain" resulting from a 50% promotional discount.) Anyway, after a couple of miserable failures, I finally put together a very classy looking frame for about 40 bucks, using oak fluted molding and detail carvings.

Which brings me to the topic of my rant for the evening: DEFECTIVE PRODUCTS. During the course of my frame-making endeavor, I ran across two. Considering that I purchased maybe 10 asorted items, this would suggest that one out of every five consumer items is probably a P.O.C. (Piece of C--p, for those unfamiliar with modern marketing terminology.)

High on my list for the day is a new Miracle Adhesive Product, manufactured by a corporation that will here remain unnamed out of fear of attracting swarms of lawyers. (Lawyers, perhaps, being a topic for some future rant.) I was all set to buy some tried and true contact cement at an unnamed home products mega-market to affix oak carvings to oak framing, when an enthusiastic clerk suggested I try the new Miracle Adhesive Product. There was a display pyramid built of tubes of said product, and a television screen running an endless VHS loop of a happy handyman pronouncing its many virtues. I was taken in like some backwoods yokel by a fast-talking carnival snake-oil salesman. I took my purchase home, carefully read and followed the directions, and was dismayed to discover that this miracle adhesive has all the sticking power of toothpaste. The first stuck stuff was falling off before I got to the last item needing to be stuck.

My second P.O.C. item--please see exhibit two--the Philips head screws that came with some clever little steel corner braces. In order to save a fraction of a cent per dozen packages, someone apparently decided to purchase the enclosed screws from an independent contractor. Said contractor evidently decided that screws are small and insignificant items, and that they can be cast (or maybe hand-carved?) out of melted aluminum cans, scrap zinc, or whatever turns up in the municipal dump that day. By the time I had screwed in a dozen of these screws--having predrilled holes for them, mind you--the heads of at least a third had twisted off, rendering the screws useless as fasteners and the holes plugged and unusable.

Is this some sort of TREND? I think so. I mean, it isn`t only a matter of adhesives that don`t stick and screws that can`t be screwed, is it? It is also a matter of giant pharmaceutical companies pushing medications 20 times more expensive than what they are intended to replace, that they already know are no more effective, and in some cases are outright dangerous. It`s a matter of vehicles that fly off the road, or more recently that spontaneously combust.

Uh... *taking slow deep breaths* OK... Enough. Got to get a grip. Not be so negative... "Every day, in every way, it`s getting better and better." (Repeat 12 times anytime you feel a negative thought coming on.)

Reader Comments

Name: John I. Blair	Email: blair@airmail.net
Comment: Dear Yopo and Leo, Thanks to both for saying this in the open. And Leo knows it's been going on for decades. Bad merchandise will drive out good as long as we sucker consumers think we're getting a "bargain". Remember when the "W" boasted that they bought American stuff if they could? I haven't seen that claim for quite a while there. I also don't shop there any more, which might explain that. The discount store I do shop at buys much of their stuff overseas also (where else can they find it these days?), but arent' hypocrites about it; and they treat their employees a bit better. Of course I can't name names, as I am not yet retired, hence fear lawyers. Actually I didn't realize there came a time not to fear them. Always check the label is my watchword; buy Union and USA when you can, machine wash and dry at all times.
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Name: Leo C. Helmer	Email: leo@pencilstubs.org
Comment: Yep an' they used all the cheap labor too. No wonder it's startin to crumble. Wait till the Aliens land on the Wall Parking Lot. Leo C.
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Name: Yopo	Email: Unlisted
Comment: Hey, Leo. G Did you know that the Great Wal-Mart of China is one of the few man-made objects visible from space?
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Name: Leo C.	Email: lep@pencilstubs.org
Comment: Hi Yopo, I sure hate to get political here but it just bugs me that what you mention in your article is absolutly true. The problem is that most little screws, braces, and such hardware items meant for minor repairs aboutnd the house usually come from China, and other far away places. Home Depot, Wall Mart, Lowes, etc all buy this junk, because not only is it cheap, but who is going to return a couple of screws, a tube of glue or what ever buck ninety eight item, back to where it came from (well I do but then I am the kind of s--t disturber that just gets of on s--t diturbing all in the name of causing a sceen about foreign junk). Of course I just love to have a crowd gather while I eagerly display the dammaged products and demand where in the hell inthe stroe can I get a decent probuct. Works pretty well. I usually get a free package of something actually made in America, a better item, just to shut me up. But, then I am an ol' coot what can get by with this sort of antic. Ain't gonna get fired from no job, cops think I am a crazy or' coot and just tell me to go home and be queit, rather than cuff me and stuff me. And beside I do get a point across. BUY AMERICAN. And don't forget we allready owe our collective American Asses to China. that is why we can't get armour for our fighting guys and gals. All them kind of plants are already gone from America and they won't make it for us. On the subject, I just might do a piece on where in America we all can buy American products, which usually don't cost much more than the trip to wall mart. Leo C. P.S. Don't get upset about the names I mentioned here. I did it not you. Tell 'em to send the legal eagles to Leo. I can handle it.
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