Woo Woo

By Pauline Evanosky

Kindness is certainly not a quality that is relegated to a psychic’s life. Kindness is something that is or should be evident in every area of life.

You can be kind without being overindulgent. Kindness, I believe, is something that starts with each person. And kindness toward oneself is most important. Don’t they say that you can never know love until you love yourself? Kindness is like that, too.

I think we often get wrapped up in the everyday rush of life and don't take the time to practice kindness. It’s not something that comes naturally, like people might think a mother’s love comes naturally. Or the love for a husband and wife.

You have to work at those things, and there’s no reason at all why you should not have to work at kindness either. Therefore, before you can be kind to others, you must first practice kindness toward yourself.

There were many times in my life when I would be angry at myself because I wasn’t measuring up in some way. One more than obvious thing was my size. The impression I got as a little girl was that I was overweight and thus not lovely. I was also greedy, and to prove my greediness, I found myself stealing food. My favorite job in the household was washing the dishes, where I got to eat all the food off other people’s plates and not throw it away. Nobody was watching.

In my childlike mind, nobody saw. Except, I do have a memory of my mother signing me up for an adult women’s exercise class when I was in the third or fourth grade. I can’t remember which year it was. Perhaps it was both. I can remember, though, sucking in my gut when they measured my waist every week. I now realize that it was a terrible burden to place on a small child. I suffered for it for years and even now visit the sin of gluttony upon occasion. I was also bulimic for twenty years.

I don’t do that anymore, and that behavior weighed most heavily on my conscience. Huh. I made a pun. So, yes, my weight issues have been with me for a long time. It took years to exercise kindness toward myself. So, I suppose you could call me an expert.

Another time when kindness toward myself assumed a critical position was when I quit smoking and drinking. The drinking part was easier for me, though even thirty years after having quit, there are still times when I want a drink. I just don’t do it.

However, six months later, quitting smoking was horrible. I recall reading somewhere that for every day I didn't smoke, I should do something kind for myself. I took that one to heart. One of the first things that comes back to you when you quit smoking is a sense of taste. I didn’t realize mine was gone until it reappeared. Every part of eating was fabulous. Spinach never tasted so good. It was during this time that I started drinking coffee with cream and sugar. Nowadays, I still indulge in chocolate creamer in my coffee, even though I remain overweight.

When you think about it, I’ve done some very difficult things in my life. I quit smoking twice. I quit drinking. I stopped being bulimic, and I lost 75 pounds three different times in my life. I need to lose it again. Actually, I need to lose 100 pounds this time. They won’t stay gone.

Now, as I am retired, the kindness I practice for myself takes the form of baking and making jam. I also make us pizza every once in a while. I spend most of my days writing, although I also allow myself to take classes in writing and participate in weekly online Zoom meetings with writers. None of us says much as we all have our writing to do, but it feels comforting to know there are nine other people from all parts of the globe in a virtual room with you, each working on their projects. To me, that is an essential kindness.

I believe that the importance of being kind to yourself enables you to know yourself better. If you know why your energy is flagging and you need a nap, it is a kindness to actually allow yourself to lie down for a couple of hours in the middle of the day.

So, until now, I have outlined the importance of being kind to yourself. What about being kind to others? I’m still working on that.

I have learned that what I think of as a kindness toward someone else might not actually be thought of as a kindness by them. Perhaps they feel you are nosy or pushy. I did, at one time, feel I should exhibit kindness toward an elderly neighbor. I was in a position to help. What happened was I was suddenly overwhelmed with all the requests she had on my time. I bit off more than I could chew there and then found myself in the horrible position of having to distance myself from her.

What had been intended as a kindness toward someone who obviously needed some help ended up with my not being able to call my time my own. I learned something valuable about offering help in that instance.

Kindness can be expressed through small kindnesses, like allowing the person behind you who only has a few items in their basket to take your place in line to pay for their groceries. Or something as simple as a smile. Kindness can be anonymous, too. You could donate food if you have an excess to a food bank.

Kindness involves being able to listen to another person. A simple enough thing, and yet, I think sometimes very hard to accomplish.

Through my writing, I believe I can offer kindness to others. First of all, as a psychic, I would like to introduce the idea that there is nothing to be afraid of with a psychic life. Secondly, to reassure people that I, as a psychic, am as spiritual a person as they are. Third, getting older can be an interesting and enjoyable experience. Fourth, there is humor in many things. Fifth, that we can have fun even while working hard.

Thank you for reading.
Pauline Evanosky