LC Van Savage
The Mounds of Our Sins
Iíll bet you uncountable pots of money youíve never once made mental piles of your individual failings, am I correct? Well, not sayiní Iím better than you, but I actually have. Made mental piles of my sins. (Heavy word, ďsin.Ē Eye of the beholder etc.)
As I rather too rapidly get closer to the big Eight O which will arrive with a nation-wide celebration on Jan. 1, 2018 I find myself most reluctantly making separate piles out of my life, piles of positive and negative memories of the things Iíve done. Or have not done. Or wish Iíd done. Or wish I hadnít done. Or should have done. Or---well you get the idea. You do, right?? Good. I knew that you would.
So hereís the deal. I am actually spending time making mental heaps of all the really good things Iíve been responsible for in my life and yes, all of the really bad things too. I know youíre wondering which accumulation is the largest. Guess! So here I sit with these multiple imaginary mounds in front of me and oh my, some of them are Everest high. For example, I struggle to remember how many times Iíve made even the slightest effort to walk in another personís moccasins to see how they feel about things before I go roaring off into judgmental blatherskiting. That mound is really tall. The times Iíve successfully walked in other peopleís moccasins and have truly made a strong effort to understand why they are, who they are, and why they are doing/being/saying what they are, is pretty wanting, and Iím awfully unproud of that fact.
The stacks of the times Iíve gone out of my way to be kind or thoughtful to another human being isnít nearly as large as Iíd like, so Iím working on that. Thereís still time. Will that thoughtful pile ever get to be as large as the thoughtless pile? I can only hope. I can make an effort. But, will I? At this moment of writing today, Iím saying yes. But itís only ten AM.
And then there are the masses of slothfulness and no, Iím not plagiarizing the Bible, but itís a good starting point. I can so easily nod off while folks about me are working triple shifts and regret I feel no shame in doing that. Iíve always been a great champion of good hard long solid avoidance sleep. My sloth pile is way too big although I recently once read that laziness is genetic. Phew. No more guilt. Itís my ancestorsí fault. Iím so relieved, I think Iíll sleep on it.
The pile next to it is that old nasty gluttony. Itís way too big, most of it caused by my milk chocolate addiction. Can I ever give in and not eat m. c. when itís in front of me? No. I just add that onto my growing mountain range of sins, but to my mind, that particular mound is forgivable.
Coveting? Come on. Anyone who says theyíve never wished they had something their neighbor has and they donít, is lying, and lying is yet another pile. Youíve never coveted? Never lied? Seriously? Then your life is lots more mound-free than is mine. But donít forgetóavoidance of truth is yet another mound, so beware!
Gloating is another heap of mine that isnít too huge, but itís there. I will confess to giving in to gloating when someone whoís been an evil human gets busted, and has to pay dearly for doing bad things. Hitler comes to mind although his badness went on far too long. Iím not too ashamed of my righteous gloating when appropriate, and fiercely gloat when anyone whoís hurt a helpless human or animal gets smacked down and is punished severely for doing that. That is a mound I intend to keep and add to as I go along.
My vast conglomeration of stupid pride is rather too large and while I desperately and daily try to maneuver my way around the multiple, disparate life-stacks of my own making, I occasionally focus on my Golden Rule mounds, and they Ö.. well, letís say they could use a little work.
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